romance issues

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Quote :

personally, i would not want to sleep with someone my friend had slept with.

And that too! Not to mention super amounts of jealousy if things worked out with the person when they didn't work out with me. Plus the guys I don't talk to anymore were kinda jackass-y so I'd also question the friend's sanity as to why they'd think they would enjoy their company in the first place knowing they were a jerk to me.

yep, yep...it would just be weird any time your friend tried to talk about their relationship with you, and you're like, uhh...i know, i dated him first.

Well they wouldn't be able to talk to me about it because we wouldn't be friends anymore.

Oh yeah. I'm that cold.

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Well they wouldn't be able to talk to me about it because we wouldn't be friends anymore.

Oh yeah. I'm that cold.

haha. totally understandable :high five emoticon:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

that doesn't answer the question...how long did they date for, were they serious? also, no girl wants to be asked out simply because you've run out of girls who are not "ghetto, hood, and phat"...do people still really say "phat"?!

i think we're being a little hard on jimmy here. it's not impossible for it to be ok to go out with someone your mate went out with. it depends on the situation and given jimmy's girl troubles i shoul hope his pal would be big about it. a definite no is reading too much into the facebook thing. just cus someone's online does not mean they've gotta respond right away. as a matter of fact i would pay almost zero attention to how other ppl follow facebook ettiquette cus it always leads trouble. a good rule to follow is to not try to contact them for 2 days after the date. then give them a how do you do and ask them if they want to see you again.

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

steph wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

that doesn't answer the question...how long did they date for, were they serious? also, no girl wants to be asked out simply because you've run out of girls who are not "ghetto, hood, and phat"...do people still really say "phat"?!

Yes, They still say phat, along with thick...They were dating about 3 or 4 months...I guess they were slightly serious...

Labhras wrote:

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

No. I just messaged her, saying if she would want to go out for some coffee again sometime.

Jimmy, you're just looking the wrong places if you're only finding girls who talk like that. There are so many nice, respectable, smart girls out there for you

Labhras wrote:

i think we're being a little hard on jimmy here. it's not impossible for it to be ok to go out with someone your mate went out with. it depends on the situation and given jimmy's girl troubles i shoul hope his pal would be big about it. a definite no is reading too much into the facebook thing. just cus someone's online does not mean they've gotta respond right away. as a matter of fact i would pay almost zero attention to how other ppl follow facebook ettiquette cus it always leads trouble. a good rule to follow is to not try to contact them for 2 days after the date. then give them a how do you do and ask them if they want to see you again.

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

i don't mean to be hard on jimmy, although he is such a Debbie Downer sometimes it seems like it might help to be a bit hard? but that's why i was inquiring about how serious the friend's relationship with the girl was, if it wasn't long and the friend doesn't care, then i guess, go for it!

JimmyB wrote:

steph wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

that doesn't answer the question...how long did they date for, were they serious? also, no girl wants to be asked out simply because you've run out of girls who are not "ghetto, hood, and phat"...do people still really say "phat"?!

Yes, They still say phat, along with thick...They were dating about 3 or 4 months...I guess they were slightly serious...

that's awesome, you must live in the backwoods, the boonies, hah.

steph wrote:

Labhras wrote:

i think we're being a little hard on jimmy here. it's not impossible for it to be ok to go out with someone your mate went out with. it depends on the situation and given jimmy's girl troubles i shoul hope his pal would be big about it. a definite no is reading too much into the facebook thing. just cus someone's online does not mean they've gotta respond right away. as a matter of fact i would pay almost zero attention to how other ppl follow facebook ettiquette cus it always leads trouble. a good rule to follow is to not try to contact them for 2 days after the date. then give them a how do you do and ask them if they want to see you again.

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

i don't mean to be hard on jimmy, although he is such a Debbie Downer sometimes it seems like it might help to be a bit hard? but that's why i was inquiring about how serious the friend's relationship with the girl was, if it wasn't long and the friend doesn't care, then i guess, go for it!

oh yeah i'm all for the tough love! i just thought that the idea that is indisputably wrong for him to go out with someone is mate had a liason with that was being proliferated wasn't completly right.

on an unrelated note; was that the right use of the word "proliferate"?

Labhras wrote:

steph wrote:

Labhras wrote:

i think we're being a little hard on jimmy here. it's not impossible for it to be ok to go out with someone your mate went out with. it depends on the situation and given jimmy's girl troubles i shoul hope his pal would be big about it. a definite no is reading too much into the facebook thing. just cus someone's online does not mean they've gotta respond right away. as a matter of fact i would pay almost zero attention to how other ppl follow facebook ettiquette cus it always leads trouble. a good rule to follow is to not try to contact them for 2 days after the date. then give them a how do you do and ask them if they want to see you again.

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

i don't mean to be hard on jimmy, although he is such a Debbie Downer sometimes it seems like it might help to be a bit hard? but that's why i was inquiring about how serious the friend's relationship with the girl was, if it wasn't long and the friend doesn't care, then i guess, go for it!

oh yeah i'm all for the tough love! i just thought that the idea that is indisputably wrong for him to go out with someone is mate had a liason with that was being proliferated wasn't completly right.

on an unrelated note; was that the right use of the word "proliferate"?

i'm gonna go with yes, :high five emoticon that doesn't exist to congratulate you for using a big boy word!:

well, i don't think it's automatically wrong to go out with someone your friend has dated, we were just wondering if it was something serious and whether his friend would mind. but like me and nevertrustajunkie were talking about, i think that may be more of an issue with girls.

steph wrote:

Labhras wrote:

steph wrote:

Labhras wrote:

i think we're being a little hard on jimmy here. it's not impossible for it to be ok to go out with someone your mate went out with. it depends on the situation and given jimmy's girl troubles i shoul hope his pal would be big about it. a definite no is reading too much into the facebook thing. just cus someone's online does not mean they've gotta respond right away. as a matter of fact i would pay almost zero attention to how other ppl follow facebook ettiquette cus it always leads trouble. a good rule to follow is to not try to contact them for 2 days after the date. then give them a how do you do and ask them if they want to see you again.

jimmy i really hope that after she didn't respond to you you didn't post again saying "why aren't you answering me?" or something of that nature?

i don't mean to be hard on jimmy, although he is such a Debbie Downer sometimes it seems like it might help to be a bit hard? but that's why i was inquiring about how serious the friend's relationship with the girl was, if it wasn't long and the friend doesn't care, then i guess, go for it!

oh yeah i'm all for the tough love! i just thought that the idea that is indisputably wrong for him to go out with someone is mate had a liason with that was being proliferated wasn't completly right.

on an unrelated note; was that the right use of the word "proliferate"?

i'm gonna go with yes, :high five emoticon that doesn't exist to congratulate you for using a big boy word!:

well, i don't think it's automatically wrong to go out with someone your friend has dated, we were just wondering if it was something serious and whether his friend would mind. but like me and nevertrustajunkie were talking about, i think that may be more of an issue with girls.

:PROUD FACE: huzzah! that's good cus i mucked it up earlier today. i think i said prolate

yeah possibly. i guess it just depends on the ppl involved. oh and jimmy that's good you just left it at the one comment, though i'd be partial to sending a txt myself. anywho i hear the girls are getting you a brazzer so don't worry bout it

Yeah- to be clear, asking an ex of mine out would not fly in my world. In someone else's it might be fine.

I still feel there is more to the story with the girls you've run through already. Much like the "I can't lose weight" statement, where we then find out you're eating a whole pizza once a week and having soda every day. This particular date sounds like a miscommunication- either she didn't think it was a date or you didn't make it clear it was a date.

Also I might suggest you be direct instead of dancing around the issue and being vague about a future date. Just say "Hey. Would you like to go out this Friday?" Otherwise "let me know if you want to go out sometime" is too open ended and doesn't warrant an immediate response. You kinda gotta say what you want even if it's scary.

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

Don't be a dick, don't date your friend's ex.

Harbortown wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

Don't be a dick, don't date your friend's ex.

oh, that made me laugh out loud. nice and concise!

steph wrote:

Harbortown wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

The reason why, I like her, and Am starting to run out of Single girls my age that I have any attraction to. Excuse me for not wanting a girl who thinks she is "Ghetto,Hood, and phat". I personally want a girl who is normal, good looking, great personality, and smart, yeah I know, impossible to find.

Don't be a dick, don't date your friend's ex.

oh, that made me laugh out loud. nice and concise!

Cool!

I'm just a bit cross that he paints himself in the color of a victim and then he goes for something totally uncool. I realize he's lovestruck and whatnot but that's never a good reason to break the brocode.

Let's look at this objectively.

1. It's your best friend's ex-girlfriend.

2. You didn't suggest an actual date in this latest FB message.

3. When you felt you were being ignored, you asked her ex what was up instead of asking her.

4. The ex-bf told you she wasn't going to date anyone til after college even though she just dated him a few months ago.

What conclusions can be drawn from this. Hm.

Harbortown wrote:

I'm just a bit cross that he paints himself in the color of a victim and then he...

finish with "asks his best friend's recent ex-gf out" or "eats like crap all week", etc.

JimmyB.... What are we going to do with you!

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Let's look at this objectively.

1. It's your best friend's ex-girlfriend.

2. You didn't suggest an actual date in this latest FB message.

3. When you felt you were being ignored, you asked her ex what was up instead of asking her.

4. The ex-bf told you she wasn't going to date anyone til after college even though she just dated him a few months ago.

What conclusions can be drawn from this. Hm.

that JimmyB is unlovable and cannot and will not ever find someone that is not ghetto or phat and should resign himself to posting about it here.

in all seriousness, I think therapy is in order. There's way too many layers to JimmyB's rampant self-hatred to go through and dissect. Even the kings & queens of the Spam thread don't have that kind of time.

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

in all seriousness, I think therapy is in order. There's way too many layers to JimmyB's rampant self-hatred to go through and dissect. Even the kings & queens of the Spam thread don't have that kind of time.

harsh! although not unreasonable or uncalled for...

Aww- it's definitely not meant to be an insult. Cognative Therapy would be perfect. It is paying someone to listen to you and help you figure out why you behave this way and helps you change those behaviors so you'll be happier in life (as opposed to the type of therapist where you just complain and then go home). They focus on the present rather than the past. So it's like, focused on the here & now rather than analyzing your childhood.

The thing is I am realizing that we're not getting the full stories from JimmyB and none of us has the time to think of ways to pull out all the bits we're not being told in order to help JimmyB understand why situations don't work out. I doubt he has the time to post case by case instances and all their details either.

Almost everyone I know has gone to therapy at some point. There are just some things friends & family can't help you figure out!

I also just noticed your sig. Is this a movement? lol

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Aww- it's definitely not meant to be an insult. Cognative Therapy would be perfect. It is paying someone to listen to you and help you figure out why you behave this way and helps you change those behaviors so you'll be happier in life (as opposed to a therapist where you just go and bitch and come home only to make the same mistakes over and over).

The thing is I am realizing that we're not getting the full stories from JimmyB and none of us has the time to think of ways to pull out all the bits we're not being told in order to help JimmyB understand why situations don't work out. I doubt he has the time to post case by case instances and all their details either.

I also just noticed your sig. Is this a movement? lol

haha, no i totally get where you are coming from. i went to a therapist when i was really, really depressed, so i have nothing bad to say about that!

and uh, that was just something to make me laugh! it can be a movement if you want!