romance issues

Yeah, moving to Colorado has never been in my plans and it doesn't look like it ever will be. I'm just trying to ignore whatever feelings I have/had left for him and hope something better comes along.

Also, I'm about two and a half hours north of you at the coast, lol.

Well good luck with that. It's a tough feat!

Hah, well, if you ever find yourself down the American riviera give me a call.

Thanks. Man, it sure is.

Hah, will do!

Long distance stuff is the worst, especially if you're trying to get to know each other when you live far apart. Unless you love drama, jealousy, crying, anger and are a total masochist, I would stay away from it.

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Long distance stuff is the worst, especially if you're trying to get to know each other when you live far apart. Unless you love drama, jealousy, crying, anger and are a total masochist, I would stay away from it.

I'll second this. Long-distance is horrible

Camus wrote:

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Long distance stuff is the worst, especially if you're trying to get to know each other when you live far apart. Unless you love drama, jealousy, crying, anger and are a total masochist, I would stay away from it.

I'll second this. Long-distance is horrible

Thirding.

Harbortown wrote:

Camus wrote:

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

Long distance stuff is the worst, especially if you're trying to get to know each other when you live far apart. Unless you love drama, jealousy, crying, anger and are a total masochist, I would stay away from it.

I'll second this. Long-distance is horrible

Thirding.

Long distance is weird, my brother and sister and law had a long distance relationship for a few years before they moved to the same state. The only reason though I believe it ended up working though was because they basically traveled every weekend to see each other. One weekend she would come stay here and the next he'd go to stay by her.

But for the most part yeah, they do not work, unless you put crazy effort

I think the chances of that type of thing working out are one in a million. Crazy effort is right! Plus you go through that phase of "I'm driving more than you are" and "Why didn't you text me back right away" resentment and blah.

Funny we all know the pain. I guess with the internet it's more common these days.

Let that be a lesson JimmyB! If she lives further than you can drive every weekend, just leave it at "She's hot and cool but she lives far away. Next."

And- if feelings are not mutual DEFINITELY forget about it. Unless you like thinking thoughts like "Who the F#$% is that girl/guy in his/her Facebook photo?" and "What did that girl/guy mean by THAT wall comment?" or on the flip side have to explain to the person that likes you that it's just your cousin in the pic, etc. Yeah, you'll definitely Facebook stalk/be Facebook stalked and just become someone you hate.

BOO TO LONG DISTANCE!!

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

I think the chances of that type of thing working out are one in a million. Crazy effort is right! Plus you go through that phase of "I'm driving more than you are" and "Why didn't you text me back right away" resentment and blah.

That's the worst part.

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Harbortown wrote:

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Been there, done that. Never, ever again. That shit sucks so much.

redskynight wrote:

Harbortown wrote:

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Been there, done that. Never, ever again. That shit sucks so much.

I'm with you 100% on that one.

It's so heartbreaking and pointless and awful. It's fine if you're older and you have the possibility to move in together but if you're younger and stuck at college or don't have a job or whatever, it's just hopeless.

redskynight wrote:

Harbortown wrote:

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Been there, done that. Never, ever again. That shit sucks so much.

Never say never, life has a weird way like that

Debonair wrote:

redskynight wrote:

Harbortown wrote:

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Been there, done that. Never, ever again. That shit sucks so much.

Never say never, life has a weird way like that

Yes, but have you ever personally been in a LDR?

I'm not saying one heartache is worse than the other, but LDRs are just horrifying. Having to physically part ways with your lover and not know when you get to see them again is emotional torture, plain and simple. And that's just one aspect.

Yeah I've been in rough relationships before, but never an LDR. But I can understand what you mean.
But even still, life has a way of putting you places you never dreamed of.

Harbortown wrote:

redskynight wrote:

Harbortown wrote:

You can be the most perfect match ever, but the constant distance makes you argue about petty things that you would otherwise not give a fuck about. It's tragic.

Been there, done that. Never, ever again. That shit sucks so much.

I'm with you 100% on that one.

It's so heartbreaking and pointless and awful. It's fine if you're older and you have the possibility to move in together but if you're younger and stuck at college or don't have a job or whatever, it's just hopeless.

It really is.

The thing I had with this guy before was so ridiculous: I met him through a friend, but since he was working in Arizona and I was going to school in California, we never had a chance to meet in person. We just had stuff like Skype. We got to know each other and everything, but he was off having his own real relationship stuff and I was busy with school and I was also pretty jealous. Then he was single again and we got closer and an actual thing could've happened, but it didn't because of distance and the fact he stopped talking to me randomly.

That was enough to put me off long distance relationships and internet dating.

Debonair wrote:

Yeah I've been in rough relationships before, but never an LDR. But I can understand what you mean.
But even still, life has a way of putting you places you never dreamed of.

This is true.

I mean, maybe when I'm older, I'll be fine with long distance relationships. But while I'm still young? No, thanks.

But I guess I'll just see where life takes me.

The worst is when you're getting to know each other via long distance, because you tend to fill in the blanks about who they are. Then when you're actually around each other it can be a different story.

I've had that experience too where they suddenly stop talking to you so much. And it was because they met another girl who lives in their town :\

F LDRs!

Ughhh, basically. And I figured he had met another girl who was right there while I was in California -- of course he wouldn't tell me about that. He never did until after the fact.

I think a lot of the time it's just about attention- you're so psyched to find someone attractive that is paying attention to you (and they're psyched you like them too), that you forget about reality and where it's all really going. It's like playing with fire basically.

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

And- if feelings are not mutual DEFINITELY forget about it. Unless you like thinking thoughts like "Who the F#$% is that girl/guy in his/her Facebook photo?" and "What did that girl/guy mean by THAT wall comment?" or on the flip side have to explain to the person that likes you that it's just your cousin in the pic, etc. Yeah, you'll definitely Facebook stalk/be Facebook stalked and just become someone you hate.

BOO TO LONG DISTANCE!!

But you don't really have to be in a long distance relationship to become like this, I guess. Jealousy is a véry ugly characteristic that, unfortunately, most people have somewhere inside them (myself very much included).

No real connection with long distance though, it's nice when you live in a country where everyone is not more than an hour drive away

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

I think a lot of the time it's just about attention- you're so psyched to find someone attractive that is paying attention to you (and they're psyched you like them too), that you forget about reality and where it's all really going. It's like playing with fire basically.

Yeah, absolutely. I've looked back on it a lot and I've come to the realization that I was a naive 18-year-old who had never gotten attention from anyone in a romantic way before, so I got so caught up in it. It wasn't healthy at all. And while I'm glad to have gotten out of that, I feel like a lot of my trust issues have stemmed from that.

Oh for sure. LDRs will scar you for life.

Agreed mingus, it's not like you won't have these problems in person. It's just that LDR increases your odds of it happening. Also, LDRs can drag it all out whereas if it's in-person you can figure out something shady's going on a lot quicker.

Just say no to LDRs!

haha "LDR" sounds like a disease.

I totally wondered for a moment what is a ldr

I agree -- LDRs can drag things on for a while where as IRL can just be handled quickly like ripping a band-aid off.

I just hope this guy doesn't try to contact me when he moves to California for work. (Cause he and I talked about that and it's basically a definite thing he's going to work in CA for a while.)

Well you have the option of not answering or slowly phasing him out