romance issues

Well,for me it seems like I would have to go it alone, since Every single one of my friends has paired up with someone in a long term relationship. And the couple that are not...are not interested in me.

steph wrote:

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:

In the end, I think girls just want a guy that's fun to be around. Would you say you're fun to be around? Would you hang out with you? These are questions we all have to ask ourselves. I swear looks/weight isn't the be all end all of why a person's single so I agree with not being completely obsessed with the weight issue. Recently I saw a good looking guy with a really overweight girl at a show and he couldn't keep his hands off her. Plenty of overweight guys get girlfriends too. blah blah blah.

i agree, but doesn't it seem like it's more often the girl with the overweight guy or less attractive than her guy, than vice versa? I'm just saying, that's what i've always seen!

I agree with steph, although there are exceptions

I'm ridiculously fun to be around, why am I still single?! *sob*

WRONG GURLS.

plugga wrote:

WRONG GURLS.

Totally, but the main reason is because I'm not actually looking for anyone, being single is fun and I don't have time for the hassle

I THANK YOU, I THANK YOU.
(What am I thanking you for?)

There are so many reasons why awesome people are single. It's something that only the single person can solve. Sometimes people subconsciously want to be single (either they're too afraid of finding something serious or they actually just like single life but didn't realize it). People get into relationships all the time just to feel validated as a person when actually they want to be single but maybe family/friends made them feel they suck at life if they don't have a mate... humans are complicated.

I also had a thought JimmyB- maybe you could start inviting girls to your shows. Maybe not technically as The Date, but just to be social. "Hey I'm playing (day). Why don't you come out?" Once they see you up there being confident and doing something a ton of people can't do (getting up in front of a crowd), it might get them to think "Woah, there's more to this JimmyB than I thought." By just being the guy on stage instead of a crowd member, you'll automatically be the Alpha Male in the room without having to do anything. It's a start anyway I would think. Harbortown- your thoughts on this?

Steph- definitely. Once I read a post by someone advising someone else on these matters and they said to sit in a WalMart one day and check out the physical aspects of the couples that walk in as a reality check. Then you'll see that most couples aren't Brad and Angelina in the looks department.

Camus wrote:

I THANK YOU, I THANK YOU.
(What am I thanking you for?)

the applause.

plugga wrote:

Camus wrote:

I THANK YOU, I THANK YOU.
(What am I thanking you for?)

the applause.

That I knew. I meant why the applause

Camus wrote:

plugga wrote:

Camus wrote:

I THANK YOU, I THANK YOU.
(What am I thanking you for?)

the applause.

That I knew. I meant why the applause

I agree that a person doesn't need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy and sometimes it's just good to be single and enjoy it!

plugga wrote:

Camus wrote:

plugga wrote:

Camus wrote:

I THANK YOU, I THANK YOU.
(What am I thanking you for?)

the applause.

That I knew. I meant why the applause

I agree that a person doesn't need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy and sometimes it's just good to be single and enjoy it!

Ahhh, okay. Well yes, being single is great.

It's just, I feel like a third wheel when hanging out with my friends now. They all have girlfriends, so I just feel like I am somewhere I shouldn't be,

JimmyB wrote:

It's just, I feel like a third wheel when hanging out with my friends now. They all have girlfriends, so I just feel like I am somewhere I shouldn't be,

You shouldn't have to feel like a third wheel. If they're inviting you to be there they want you to be there. The fact that they're in relationships shouldn't change that you're hanging out with friends

Some couples are insensitive, but some are awesome. Had one friend totally nuzzling her BF the whole time we were in a damn McDonald's. But have other friends who totally make me feel like one of the group to the point I forget they're a couple.

Camus wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

It's just, I feel like a third wheel when hanging out with my friends now. They all have girlfriends, so I just feel like I am somewhere I shouldn't be,

You shouldn't have to feel like a third wheel. If they're inviting you to be there they want you to be there. The fact that they're in relationships shouldn't change that you're hanging out with friends

I know, I just feel like it.

just outta curiosity jimmy what did you guys talk about on your date? and where'd you go?

Labhras wrote:

just outta curiosity jimmy what did you guys talk about on your date? and where'd you go?

Coffee shop for an open mic night. We talked about Religion since we both go to the same church, a bit of music, and just how life was going for each other.

Jimmy, I'm going to share a word or two.

Seeing as you link your covers through Facebook, I was able to look at your profile wall, and honestly....Don't be a bummer. Seriously you're posting things so depressing that even the romance issues thread would pack up its shit and lock itself. It's fine that you want to reach out and talk about your problems but there's a time and a place, and Facebook is NOT the place.

Just my two cents.

I've been better...Today was just a horrible day for me.

I'm not just talking about today. That stuff stretches back for weeks and weeks, man. People don't really want to read that on Facebook.

No response. Awwww man.

Jimmy, if you don't understand that image and self-image are EVERYTHING in things like that, you will probably never be able to solve these problems. Take your signature here for instance: do you really think that girls, who don't (or barely) know you, look at things like that (or at your Facebook profile, don't know, haven't seen it) and think: "wauw, that's a great catch, if thàt guy asks me on a date, I wouldn't have to think twice!" ? The world is not kind to people who have no belief in themselves whatsoever. The good thing is: you càn do something about that.

But please, take that chance, think about how you see yourself and how you talk about yourself. And please realise that behaviour like this isn't going to get you girls. Doing nothing but pitying yourself, showing barely any courage at all to try to change something instead of writing on a stupid message board about how nobody wants you: it won't get you anywhere. And I'm sorry, but it's kind of pathetic at the same time. It has been clear in this topic that you're not the only one having problems with finding someone, but not everyone here evolves into a spineless man who can't do anything but talk about that...

Hell yes. Thank you, mingus. I think the next time you have a "romance issue", Jimmy, you should just read through the 22 pages of this thread and pick your favorite piece of advice. It's basically all written to you. Start listening to it.

Actually the only person who thinks badly of you Jimmy is, well, you. And, unfortunately it comes across.

Self fulfilling prophecy: "Any positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person's behavior toward them in a manner that causes those expectations to be fulfilled."

You've trained yourself to think a girl's going to reject you and so you subconsciously start acting in a way that ensures she will do so. Maybe try thinking in the other direction- positively. Or, try therapy. Honestly. Because it doesn't seem like any of us are making an impact and it's been months now.

"Light up a person's soul and they will beat a path down to your door." Remember that. Telling all of us that unless we've been single our whole life, we can't possibly understand your pain is not exactly lighting up souls. Brian Fallon- he lights up souls. Why? Because he brings joy to people's day through awesome music. Maybe you could do that with your music. It's a start. I don't know why I keep bringing Brian into discussions. It's a Gaslight board after all. Anyway...!

I think as an exercise you should write 10 things you LIKE about yourself.