Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]

DeathoftheCool wrote:

That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out

aren't working out

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out

aren't working out

I'm really sorry to hear that, Cody.

"My heart is set for you,
Leaving Penn Station
On the 6:13 to Babylon."
I love that sig man. What's it from?

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out

aren't working out

This just made me so sad.

DeathoftheCool wrote:

"My heart is set for you,
Leaving Penn Station
On the 6:13 to Babylon."
I love that sig man. What's it from?

it's something i wrote referencing the same relationship.
the 6:13 to Babylon was a train that left penn station in 1950 and collided with another train that was stopped and killed 79 people.

stepsandnumbers wrote:

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out

aren't working out

This just made me so sad.

I apologize Sarah, it's just a bird...

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

"My heart is set for you,
Leaving Penn Station
On the 6:13 to Babylon."
I love that sig man. What's it from?

it's something i wrote referencing the same relationship.
the 6:13 to Babylon was a train that left penn station in 1950 and collided with another train that was stopped and killed 79 people.

this thread is getting so dark! i love that historical stuff though, it's a really great metaphor, probably one of my favorite things you've written. it also sounds like going to a fantasy land or something, without the historical context. either way it's a very powerful cpl of lines

DeathoftheCool wrote:

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

"My heart is set for you,
Leaving Penn Station
On the 6:13 to Babylon."
I love that sig man. What's it from?

it's something i wrote referencing the same relationship.
the 6:13 to Babylon was a train that left penn station in 1950 and collided with another train that was stopped and killed 79 people.

this thread is getting so dark! i love that historical stuff though, it's a really great metaphor, probably one of my favorite things you've written. it also sounds like going to a fantasy land or something, without the historical context. either way it's a very powerful cpl of lines

I'll post something happy to brighten the mood!

[something happy]
Down by the creek
I sit at the base of a tree,
The bluebirds sing me to sleep
And I dream of you.

Let’s move away to a tree
In the meadows
Far away from this place
We can’t call our home.

It’ll rain only when
We want it to,
Just me and you
Forever.

The sun found me on my side,
I laid motionless for hours
And thought of your eyes,
Those beautiful eyes.

The bluebirds sang all morning long,
The bluebirds sang all morning long.

The Poet Jonah wrote:

DeathoftheCool wrote:

That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out

aren't working out

Honestly, though, Cody, your poetry is beautiful. I wish my stuff was as good.

redskynight wrote:

Honestly, though, Cody, your poetry is beautiful. I wish my stuff was as good.

thank you so much, it's one of the only positives in my life besides God.
the best part about both of those is that they mean the world to me,
so the fact that my poetry is actually good makes waking up worth while.
God's the reason I'm able to get out of bed,
poetry's the reason I stay awake.
not to be preachy <----for some reason it reminds me of a preacher, also this just kidding.

Quote :

God's the reason I'm able to get out of bed,
poetry's the reason I stay awake

Well said, Cody.

alright well?! no more poems from you guys??? c'mon!

how bout this, it's spring I wanna see some spring poems!

Oh man, spring poems? That's going to be tough, but I never back down from a challenge. I'll have to start working on something!

.

This is something that I wrote for my poetry class last semester.


Logic
Didn’t you think that I would figure it out? Sure, you said life was a game of numbers; everything went to statistics and probability and chance. That is not everything. What you know – what you believe and choose to know – it’s not it. And that is the thing: you are so set in your beliefs that when an ounce of doubt sets in, you reason with it. You refuse to just let things be. You have to make the doubt be a probable, a statistic, a chance; “it’s all logic,” you always said. But it’s not. The world doesn’t work that way. I’m telling you this now so that reality doesn’t hit you when you least expect it. Because I know your world will shatter when that truck called reality tells you that everything you know is a lie. You need to understand that things happen, and sometimes, you can’t do anything about it.

You don’t have all the answers.

What you don’t have, you don’t need anymore.

The Poet Jonah wrote:

.

A period?! That's all you're giving us, Cody, a measly little punctuation mark? Oh well, I'll just enjoy your signature then.

redskynight wrote:

This is something that I wrote for my poetry class last semester.


Logic
Didn’t you think that I would figure it out? Sure, you said life was a game of numbers; everything went to statistics and probability and chance. That is not everything. What you know – what you believe and choose to know – it’s not it. And that is the thing: you are so set in your beliefs that when an ounce of doubt sets in, you reason with it. You refuse to just let things be. You have to make the doubt be a probable, a statistic, a chance; “it’s all logic,” you always said. But it’s not. The world doesn’t work that way. I’m telling you this now so that reality doesn’t hit you when you least expect it. Because I know your world will shatter when that truck called reality tells you that everything you know is a lie. You need to understand that things happen, and sometimes, you can’t do anything about it.

You don’t have all the answers.

What you don’t have, you don’t need anymore.

This is really good, Mac! Was the last line inspired by Stay Lucky?

The emotion really came through in this poem, even though you were talking about logic, numbers, statistics, etc. My favorite part was the line "You don't have all the answers." That's something I struggle with, because I feel like I'm the one who is supposed to help everybody and know everything, so it's a tough reality for me to face, that I don't always know what to do or have the right answer at the right moment. I think I will be reading this poem a lot in the coming months as I work through some stuff.

Thank you for sharing this!

IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:

redskynight wrote:

This is something that I wrote for my poetry class last semester.


Logic
Didn’t you think that I would figure it out? Sure, you said life was a game of numbers; everything went to statistics and probability and chance. That is not everything. What you know – what you believe and choose to know – it’s not it. And that is the thing: you are so set in your beliefs that when an ounce of doubt sets in, you reason with it. You refuse to just let things be. You have to make the doubt be a probable, a statistic, a chance; “it’s all logic,” you always said. But it’s not. The world doesn’t work that way. I’m telling you this now so that reality doesn’t hit you when you least expect it. Because I know your world will shatter when that truck called reality tells you that everything you know is a lie. You need to understand that things happen, and sometimes, you can’t do anything about it.

You don’t have all the answers.

What you don’t have, you don’t need anymore.

This is really good, Mac! Was the last line inspired by Stay Lucky?

The emotion really came through in this poem, even though you were talking about logic, numbers, statistics, etc. My favorite part was the line "You don't have all the answers." That's something I struggle with, because I feel like I'm the one who is supposed to help everybody and know everything, so it's a tough reality for me to face, that I don't always know what to do or have the right answer at the right moment. I think I will be reading this poem a lot in the coming months as I work through some stuff.

Thank you for sharing this!

Yep! One of the things I've been experimenting with is called found poetry and I'm kind of like Brian where I just incorporate things that my heroes wrote into my own things.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm always so nervous about sharing my writing, thinking that it's not good enough.

redskynight wrote:

IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:

redskynight wrote:

This is something that I wrote for my poetry class last semester.


Logic
Didn’t you think that I would figure it out? Sure, you said life was a game of numbers; everything went to statistics and probability and chance. That is not everything. What you know – what you believe and choose to know – it’s not it. And that is the thing: you are so set in your beliefs that when an ounce of doubt sets in, you reason with it. You refuse to just let things be. You have to make the doubt be a probable, a statistic, a chance; “it’s all logic,” you always said. But it’s not. The world doesn’t work that way. I’m telling you this now so that reality doesn’t hit you when you least expect it. Because I know your world will shatter when that truck called reality tells you that everything you know is a lie. You need to understand that things happen, and sometimes, you can’t do anything about it.

You don’t have all the answers.

What you don’t have, you don’t need anymore.

This is really good, Mac! Was the last line inspired by Stay Lucky?

The emotion really came through in this poem, even though you were talking about logic, numbers, statistics, etc. My favorite part was the line "You don't have all the answers." That's something I struggle with, because I feel like I'm the one who is supposed to help everybody and know everything, so it's a tough reality for me to face, that I don't always know what to do or have the right answer at the right moment. I think I will be reading this poem a lot in the coming months as I work through some stuff.

Thank you for sharing this!

Yep! One of the things I've been experimenting with is called found poetry and I'm kind of like Brian where I just incorporate things that my heroes wrote into my own things.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm always so nervous about sharing my writing, thinking that it's not good enough.

This poem was so angry! I loved it!

[A Letter to Prison]
My little brother
Sits on the cot
And stares at
The window,
He spends his
Days wishing
The bars were
Stained-glass

While I spend
Them outside
Pleading for
A writ of
Habeas corpus.

He doesn’t let me
See the tears
On his cheek,
He just sits there
Talking about the
Color of the walls.

Cody, why do you always make me cry? You have a way with words that make the emotions come through so powerfully. What an amazing gift. I really appreciate the raw honesty of this one. There were a couple of parts of this poem that really stood out to me.

He spends his
Days wishing
The bars were
Stained-glass

I like this imagery. Stained-glass makes me think of church, which makes me think of salvation from all the bad that permeates the earth.

Pleading for
A writ of
Habeas Corpus.

Very well said. Thank you for sharing this poem.

The secret in the poem is false imprisonment, (habeas corpus).

Thanks Shannon, I've got 4 more poems and then this book is finished

I wanted to use a pirate...so I did