| Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] | |
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+59Boy From Little Eden zerb012345 TGAFAN25 mwh StitchesOnTheRadio Commander Vimes Blues With the Dogs HolyBreakOfDay jonester EyesOnThatCadillac redheadchick Labhras HorribleCrowe bringiton_ty Hanswurst SubconsciousRitual Virginiatiger Holland elliott4296 sportshack The Angry Johnny Revue spgilbert enola patfreesia TheTrevor RaquelWaltz Midnight Rambler Yozzy OldManShoes3 eagles1139 Christophe Jack loazis EmptySoul89 Camus Casey AGoodTime poormrpitiful Don Carlo Red_Heels Philo drifter69 TGAforLIFE simo Harbortown TheMagnificentDreamer Jay eremitapa ThisMachineKillsFascists Steve70s scarsrsouvenirs JimmyB theBasemen steph DeathoftheCool Debonair IrishNameAndAnInjury The Poet Jonah steady now steady now 63 posters |
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Jay A Contender
Posts : 298 Join date : 2009-11-24 Age : 33 Location : Lincoln Park, Chicago
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:52 pm | |
| Thanks guy I appreciate it.
And I'd love to share some of my poems with you guys but unfortunately they're being considered for publication so due to copyright and first publishing laws I can't post them anywhere on the internet, even on message boards. It's a dumb rule I know. But if they do get published the rights revert back to me so I'll share then. | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:57 pm | |
| - Jay wrote:
- Thanks guy I appreciate it.
And I'd love to share some of my poems with you guys but unfortunately they're being considered for publication so due to copyright and first publishing laws I can't post them anywhere on the internet, even on message boards. It's a dumb rule I know. But if they do get published the rights revert back to me so I'll share then. Good luck getting published! Are they being considered for a book or magazine, or something else? Very cool! | |
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Jay A Contender
Posts : 298 Join date : 2009-11-24 Age : 33 Location : Lincoln Park, Chicago
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:52 pm | |
| I'll definitely need it lol, thanks.
And it's just lit mags for now. No way I'm gonna sell out and try for those big publishing companies =P | |
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The Poet Jonah Wooderson
Posts : 418 Join date : 2011-10-24 Age : 33 Location : Chattanooga, the cousin nobody invites to the family reunion
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:07 pm | |
| Home My father Stays angry And my mother Stays at work. I stay in my room; The false imprisonment of love.
In 1948 someone shot Gandhi And today nobody cares.
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:49 pm | |
| Cody, simple words can say so, so much. That was intense, especially the line "The false imprisonment of love". That one hurts. And the last two lines, brilliant. Just brilliant. | |
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JimmyB The Navesink Banks
Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 32 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:50 am | |
| revised
A Fm# D A E I walk these floors Wondering where I went wrong Where I left the road I was on, Or How I got so lost But now I feel the summer coming on, The Hot dry air blowin back your hair 0hh As we drive down, route 88
We sing with the radio, All those old Springsteen songs or even the old Outlaw country bands, Of hank, willie and John We could drive all night just never let go (x2)
We would spend all our nights dancing or at home We would never let go, of our dreams or each other arms Never let go, of all we grew up with
Same with all the fears that still haunt us and drag us down all the fears of this old haunted and forgotten place Or all the dreams that have become dust and disgraced We would always be scared that this was our fate
Never Let Go, Never Let Go of it yeah Never let go of our dreams You always say we never can stay But Honey, What about tonight | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:57 am | |
| - JimmyB wrote:
Same with all the fears that still haunt us and drag us down all the fears of this old haunted and forgotten place Or all the dreams that have become dust and disgraced We would always be scared that this was our fate
This is my favorite verse, especially the second line. The whole song seems like a really cool, quiet nod to Bruce, Bob Seger, and John Mellencamp, the classic rockers with the heartland vibe. It's just touches of things here and there, nothing too obvious, but the feeling is there. I love it! This song looks great, Jimmy! Good luck performing it! | |
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TheMagnificentDreamer Red In The Morning
Posts : 31 Join date : 2012-02-21
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:45 pm | |
| New song, 1st post in this thread http://soundcloud.com/stevan-gallacher/open-road My heart is poundin like its tryin to break free And my head is filled with cowbweb dreams of who I want to be Everybody runs from somethin we all got a point to prove So tonight I made my mind up and I'm gonna make my move Meet you on the open road Meet you on the open road I aint got nothin so I got nothin to lose Meet you on the open road All you ever wanted was your name in neon lights Lightin up the city on those dark and lonely nights So say a prayer for youth and beauty cos they wont be hear for long Make your mind up cos tomorrow I'll be gone Meet you on the open road Meet you on the open road You aint got nothin so you got nothin to lose Meet you on the open road C'mon now lets do this right We'll leave it all behind And on and on we'll go until we reach the mornin light Pack your bags we leave tonight Meet you on the open road Meet you on the open road We aint got nothin so we got nothin to lose Meet you on the open road | |
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Harbortown The Navesink Banks
Posts : 6784 Join date : 2011-04-13 Age : 33 Location : yes
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:16 pm | |
| Your voice sounds kinda like a young Brian Fallon, awesome. | |
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simo The Navesink Banks
Posts : 1983 Join date : 2009-07-03 Age : 32 Location : Columbia, Missouri
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:32 pm | |
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The Poet Jonah Wooderson
Posts : 418 Join date : 2011-10-24 Age : 33 Location : Chattanooga, the cousin nobody invites to the family reunion
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:15 am | |
| [The Tender Reed] Her eyes of wonder Have aged dark and still Like some false river On the edge of town, And a ghost just being born Haunts her like perfume.
She’s my mother And she’s driving a stolen car, The many years of love Leaving her heart like a fortress; Joe Louis in 1949.
I see her kiss my father and he smiles, But that river keeps moving Up through Paducah and on. Every day is war When your world is ending.
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DeathoftheCool The Navesink Banks
Posts : 1953 Join date : 2010-07-26 Age : 29 Location : The Dreaded Barbary Coast
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:52 am | |
| you like springsteen dont ya? but this poem is fuckin great without the references. i love the details like Joe Louis 1949, paducah, etc. i get a distinct image in my head when i read this, which i guess is the goal for all poets | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:32 am | |
| @TheMagnificentDreamer - I love your song! Harbortown was right, you do kind of sound like Brian!
The second verse was my favorite. You really captured the temporary nature of youth and how if you wait around too long for anything, it might be gone when you're ready to find it. Very, very good! Honestly, when I was listening to your song, I was thinking, "Man, this is great! Open Road should be on the radio!" | |
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TheMagnificentDreamer Red In The Morning
Posts : 31 Join date : 2012-02-21
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:34 am | |
| - IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:
- @TheMagnificentDreamer - I love your song! Harbortown was right, you do kind of sound like Brian!
The second verse was my favorite. You really captured the temporary nature of youth and how if you wait around too long for anything, it might be gone when you're ready to find it. Very, very good! Honestly, when I was listening to your song, I was thinking, "Man, this is great! Open Road should be on the radio!" Thanks to everyone for the nice words, but seriously, that's one of the coolest things anyone's ever written about anything I've done Can't wait to get the band on this one! | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:41 am | |
| - The Poet Jonah wrote:
[The Tender Reed] Her eyes of wonder Have aged dark and still Like some false river On the edge of town, And a ghost just being born Haunts her like perfume.
She’s my mother And she’s driving a stolen car, The many years of love Leaving her heart like a fortress; Joe Louis in 1949.
I see her kiss my father and he smiles, But that river keeps moving Up through Paducah and on. Every day is war When your world is ending.
Cody, just like I don't think Brian Fallon can write a bad song, I don't think you can write a bad poem. This is beautiful. Hauntingly, heartbreakingly, beautiful. The Joe Louis reference was perfect, and I love the lines "Like some false river/ On the edge of town". It never ceases to amaze me how much meaning and emotion a few simple words can hold. False river...that's really good. | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:43 am | |
| - TheMagnificentDreamer wrote:
- IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:
- @TheMagnificentDreamer - I love your song! Harbortown was right, you do kind of sound like Brian!
The second verse was my favorite. You really captured the temporary nature of youth and how if you wait around too long for anything, it might be gone when you're ready to find it. Very, very good! Honestly, when I was listening to your song, I was thinking, "Man, this is great! Open Road should be on the radio!" Thanks to everyone for the nice words, but seriously, that's one of the coolest things anyone's ever written about anything I've done Can't wait to get the band on this one!
I meant it! Now I'm going to go listen to the other songs you have on Soundcloud. I'm impressed! | |
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TheMagnificentDreamer Red In The Morning
Posts : 31 Join date : 2012-02-21
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:50 am | |
| - IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:
- TheMagnificentDreamer wrote:
- IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:
- @TheMagnificentDreamer - I love your song! Harbortown was right, you do kind of sound like Brian!
The second verse was my favorite. You really captured the temporary nature of youth and how if you wait around too long for anything, it might be gone when you're ready to find it. Very, very good! Honestly, when I was listening to your song, I was thinking, "Man, this is great! Open Road should be on the radio!" Thanks to everyone for the nice words, but seriously, that's one of the coolest things anyone's ever written about anything I've done Can't wait to get the band on this one!
I meant it! Now I'm going to go listen to the other songs you have on Soundcloud. I'm impressed! Our band doing some Chuck Ragan http://www32.zippyshare.com/v/52620804/file.html | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 10:42 am | |
| ^Cool! I'll check the link out later. I have to leave for work now, but first I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the other songs you have posted on Soundcloud. The harmonica at the beginning of Miles Davis is an especially nice touch. And is Bullets, Bombs, and Threats an original? It was great! | |
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TheMagnificentDreamer Red In The Morning
Posts : 31 Join date : 2012-02-21
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:50 pm | |
| - IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:
- ^Cool! I'll check the link out later. I have to leave for work now, but first I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the other songs you have posted on Soundcloud. The harmonica at the beginning of Miles Davis is an especially nice touch. And is Bullets, Bombs, and Threats an original? It was great!
Thanks! Yeah it's an original, not planning on doing much with it anymore, though I'd like to try and revamp it in some way | |
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DeathoftheCool The Navesink Banks
Posts : 1953 Join date : 2010-07-26 Age : 29 Location : The Dreaded Barbary Coast
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:02 pm | |
| thanks for the kind words, eremitapa! and poetjonah what happened to you in the late forties that keeps coming through in your writing? compelling... | |
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The Poet Jonah Wooderson
Posts : 418 Join date : 2011-10-24 Age : 33 Location : Chattanooga, the cousin nobody invites to the family reunion
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:17 pm | |
| - DeathoftheCool wrote:
- thanks for the kind words, eremitapa!
and poetjonah what happened to you in the late forties that keeps coming through in your writing? compelling... If I was alive in the forties they would have called it the fifties and instead of the title "president" we would be calling our leaders "cody" cody Obama. or cody Bush. yeah. | |
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The Poet Jonah Wooderson
Posts : 418 Join date : 2011-10-24 Age : 33 Location : Chattanooga, the cousin nobody invites to the family reunion
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:19 pm | |
| But seriously, when I'm depressed I write, when I'm depressed I want to leave. If I could leave it'd be the 40s or 50s but see, even then there was war and death and divorce and depression. it's all just numbers. nothing ever changes. | |
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The Poet Jonah Wooderson
Posts : 418 Join date : 2011-10-24 Age : 33 Location : Chattanooga, the cousin nobody invites to the family reunion
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:48 pm | |
| [A Letter to the Dog Food in the Parking Lot] I dropped my keys At the birth of spring And spooked a bird To its nest.
It was nothing Like our love Though you Swore it was. I miss you, Look at the moon.
Walking downtown With you In the heat And the wind All I could think about Was that bird In its nest Starring down at me, Disappointed that I was so poor And lazy.
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DeathoftheCool The Navesink Banks
Posts : 1953 Join date : 2010-07-26 Age : 29 Location : The Dreaded Barbary Coast
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:52 pm | |
| That poem was super interesting. I loved the part about the bird, that was really creative. the splitting of the lines like you did was a cool touch too. Makes it seem more fragmented, like a bunch of snapshots. Sounds like things weren't working out | |
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IrishNameAndAnInjury The Navesink Banks
Posts : 13514 Join date : 2011-09-16 Age : 41 Location : Spokane Valley, WA
| Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:00 pm | |
| Cody, your poems are always so intriguing. I never know what the next line will bring and that's so exciting. I really liked this poem, especially the last stanza. It was so sad, but very relatable. I think we've all felt like that. | |
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