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JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat Jun 21, 2014 8:39 am | |
| ^That one raised goosebumps on my skin. Nice job
I call this one "Personal Hell"
Think what you want, I won't hold it against you Say what you can, I can't think it's true Write all your reasons,for someone who cares While I say Why don't you dare?
I'll take the high road against you tonight I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight Keep on speaking the lies you tell While You constantly live in your personal hell
I'll hold my head up, while you hang yours in shame I'll be smiling, while you play your games Could you ever get over yourself? While you keep your heart locked on a shelf
I'll take the high road against you tonight I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight Keep on speaking the lies you tell While You constantly live in your personal hell
You wear the lies you told, like skin on your bones It's killing you baby, and making you cold Let them go before you get old And no one wants you.
I'll take the high road against you tonight I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight Keep on speaking the lies you tell While You constantly live in your personal hell
I'll take the high road against you tonight I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight Keep on speaking the lies you tell While You constantly live in your personal hell | |
|  | | sandyangryjohnnyormary? A Contender


Posts : 106 Join date : 2011-06-03
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sun Jun 22, 2014 5:50 pm | |
| You've actually got some really good lyrics there Jimmy . The 'heart on the shelf' line's a little cliché, but this is lightyears ahead of most the things I've read by you. It's got that slightly detached and melancholic, but finally clear headed view of old relationships that Dylan was always so great at. Good work! | |
|  | | Guest Guest
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:08 pm | |
| The rain poured down
Over the seaside heights
And the ghouls in the street
Who haunted the midnight
Buried me along with other old worn out bones
And forgotten letters and poetry tomes
And in the muddy waters I laid
In a ditch on the side of the road
And in my head, memories played
And dreams of reconciliation
And they all go just like this
And all start with you sayin':
"Oh baby, I missed you,
I never did leave you
I never stopped loving
I always did care"
and I wipe my nose
And I clear my throat
And reply so softly
"Come on back home to me, dear"
The fog grew thick
Over our home town
And the alley cats and gamblers
Sleeping in the graveyard
All rose to attention
Saluting to the stained white flag
That the angels bestowed on me
In my state of surrender
The army rose up twisting like vines on a tower's wall
And marched on without me
And I sat and thought about what I would say
If I ever saw you again someday
(Maybe something like)
"Oh bright eyes, I miss you,
I always did need you
You're my one and only
You're my everything,"
And I'll wipe your tears away,
You'll grab my hands
And reply ever softly,
"Baby, come on home to me"
But until then, I'll stay right here
Scrawling all my poetry dear
Crooning at the moonlight
And the soft, fond memories
And as I rot in solitude
I'll bleed a bit for me and you
And please do remember dear
I'll be forever and always here
And though the wounds may fade away
I'll love you until my dying day
Oh Molly, wherefore art you now
Can you still hear the sirens sound?
The rain poured down
Over the seaside heights
And the ghouls in the street
Who haunted the midnight
Buried me along with other old worn out bones
And forgotten letters and poetry tomes
And in the muddy waters I laid
In a ditch on the side of the road
And in my head, memories played
And dreams of reconciliation
And they all go just like this
And all start with you sayin':
"Oh baby, I missed you,
I never did leave you
I never stopped loving
I always did care"
and I wipe my nose
And I clear my throat
And reply so softly
"Come on back home to me, dear"
The fog grew thick
Over our home town
And the alley cats and gamblers
Sleeping in the graveyard
All rose to attention
Saluting to the stained white flag
That the angels bestowed on me
In my state of surrender
The army rose up twisting like vines on a tower's wall
And marched on without me
And I sat and thought about what I would say
If I ever saw you again someday
(Maybe something like)
"Oh bright eyes, I miss you,
I always did need you
You're my one and only
You're my everything,"
And I'll wipe your tears away,
You'll grab my hands
And reply ever softly,
"Baby, come on home to me"
But until then, I'll stay right here
Scrawling all my poetry dear
Crooning at the moonlight
And the soft, fond memories
And as I rot in solitude
I'll bleed a bit for me and you
And please do remember dear
I'll be forever and always here
And though the wounds may fade away
I'll love you until my dying day
Oh Molly, wherefore art you now
Can you still hear the sirens sound?I think I finally got something good here  |
|  | | Yozzy A Contender


Posts : 202 Join date : 2011-02-22 Location : Ontario, Canada
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:51 am | |
|
Last edited by Yozzy on Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:56 pm; edited 3 times in total | |
|  | | JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Aug 07, 2014 7:42 am | |
| Burn away.
Sit me down at the river tonight by the pale moonlight Hold me close take my hand And let me just burn again
They say a fire is a good thing It ends one, but starts new life could it be what I need, Could it be what I need to get right
Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain? Have you felt all my shame? Would you stitch it up the best you could, Or would you just let it burn away?"
We could throw away ourselves, and what we were what our folks wanted from you and me Make our lives what we want them to be Or who we need to be
Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain? Have you felt all my shame? Would you stitch it up the best you could, Or would you just let it burn away?
But these all night drives have a cost These empty worlds drive me up a wall Settle down before to long before you're lost Settle down before you fall
Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain? Have you felt all my shame? Would you stitch it up the best you could, Or would you just let it burn away?
Sometimes I just want to burn away | |
|  | | The_River A Contender


Posts : 291 Join date : 2013-10-07
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:19 am | |
| Some great stuff from the last 2 posts. You guys should make something out of these if you don't already do. | |
|  | | Guest Guest
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:43 am | |
| Given a thousand years, my dear And I still could not explain Exactly how you make me feel In all those tangled ways But listen closely baby And hear what I can say As we sit here sipping coffee On this cold, grey winter’s day
Jenni stick around Don’t go, don’t run from this town I know your fuse is short I know he broke your heart You’re friends are here, believe us You’re calling out for Jesus But He ain’t coming down So Jenni stick around Jenni stick around Jenni stick around
You know I heard old James’s singing Echoing through the library And remember down on Midland By the abandoned factories When I first said I loved you And you first said it too Oh where oh where have those times gone And where oh where are you
Jenni stick around Don’t go, don’t split this dusty town I know your shoes are worn I know your Bible’s torn We’re all here for you, believe us You’re crying out for Jesus But He ain’t coming ‘round So Jenni, Jenni stick around Jenni stick around Jenni stick around
I saw you just the other day Stumblin’ around in a drunken haze You don’t look right, you don’t look okay So listen closely, I have just one thing to say
Jenni let’s blow this town We’ll go where we’ll never be found Grab the keys, I’ll fill her up I think that we have got enough So grab my hand and lead us Way out where we’ll find Jesus But when we get lost from this town Please, my darling, Jenni, Jenni stick around Jenni stick around Jenni stick around Jenni stick around
Started rough concept for this song in January. Did this just now |
|  | | Hombie Red In The Morning


Posts : 91 Join date : 2014-11-16 Location : Bruges
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:46 pm | |
| Ow man, reading through this I kinda wanna share stuff but on the other hand it's so painfully mediocre at best... xD
Maybe I will in a bit. Or if I can find something to write I actually really like myself.
(EDIT: I'll share this, then. Wrote it a while ago, edited it a little now. It's definitely kinda cliché or mediocre, I guess. Got the inspiration from it from a drum and bass song and a gay manga, weirdly enough)
I heard our dreams are paper planes, Baby I'm hopin' for a breeze Some warm summer wind to come 'n carry these folded sheets
And maybe this town is our dog pen Man, the sky can feel so low We're caught between the power lines and paper planes Dreamin' we could go, Faraway
And I'm still wishing on those shooting stars Baby, I'm waitin' between these powerlines Hoping some day, I'll finally catch that breeze
I'd sneak you one quick kiss, before I'd ever leave Coastin on some paper wings and carried by the summer breeze
And this city is a prison, The sky feels so low We're caught between them power lines and paper planes Ready to go,
Faraway, Baby So far away
And maybe, just maybe we'll come back one day | |
|  | | Yozzy A Contender


Posts : 202 Join date : 2011-02-22 Location : Ontario, Canada
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:54 pm | |
| I’m drowning In imagery
I'm collapsing At the foot of your bed
I'm reaching For the small of your back
We existed in my headlights And parted by the water
I’m pining for forgiveness As fragile as glass
Moments fade in the front yard While the wood begins to pass
You preferred pills and handwritten letters All I ever had were bouquets of flowers | |
|  | | JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:55 am | |
| Chorus of a song I'm working on "wall of shame"
I'll put your face on a wall of shame So they know of your hell and to not mess with you Everyone will know your name Yeah miss L, thats what I'll do. | |
|  | | Yozzy A Contender


Posts : 202 Join date : 2011-02-22 Location : Ontario, Canada
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Jan 12, 2015 2:35 am | |
| We went to your pastor and he said help is far past her So we collapsed into your living room The clock in the background and the dogs on your wooden floor We wait for flowers on the moon We shared our sadness and the tears in our eyes filled Faster than your prescriptions When asked what had happened I acknowledge the truth But struggle to admit its descriptions
Last edited by Yozzy on Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:07 am; edited 1 time in total | |
|  | | JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:49 am | |
| WIP for "Summer heroes"
Even though the days are long behind me Even Now I can still seem to smell The burned race tires, and can see The checkered flag
Those drivers are my summer heroes. Working 40 hours, then going racing Showing no fear, into corners at 180 They are my summer heroes. | |
|  | | JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Wed Feb 11, 2015 1:11 am | |
| I can feel, things I've never felt before I can hear hear things I've gone deaf to I can settle all these old burning scores I can finally tell the truth
Now things are falling apart And these skies keep pouring out grief Still I keep things in my heart In this town where I was born In this town where I was born
Now here I am, another desperate caller Trying to woo, summers only daughter While winter rages, got her trapped in a cage So what else can you say
Now things are falling apart, and things keep breaking my heart Still I keep it all in my mind In the town where I was born In the town where I was born
Now the diner is on fire, and The train keeps rolling on Still what else can I say, but May her heart rest in peace.
Now things are falling apart, and things keep breaking my heart Still I keep it all in my mind In the town where I was born In the town where I was born
Now things are falling apart, and things keep breaking my heart Still I keep it all in my mind In the town where I was born In the town where I was born May she always rest in grace
-Where I was born | |
|  | | Hombie Red In The Morning


Posts : 91 Join date : 2014-11-16 Location : Bruges
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:00 pm | |
| Wrote this thing a while back that we're probably gonna try to turn into an actual song with my little fun but rather crappy attempt at a punkrock-ish band. Free hugs to anyone who can guess which band I was listening to pretty intensively when I wrote this.
his one guy told me "It ain't to hard to stay alive, at least on the outside"
I gotta admit, he looked pretty fried He said, "We're all anxious and depressed, But mostly alright," Yeah we got coffee 'n cigarettes Even friends, sometimes
And we just go through motions in the day, But at least we've got the nights Those are usually Mostly Alright
(Chorus) An' I guess he was right Yeah I guess he was right He's probably right We're all mostly alright (/end Chorus)
One thing I found out It's not hard to survive But it takes some effort to stay really alive 'Cause it's kinda rainy and kinda gray And we tend to self-medicate, sometimes
And it's raining out on monday But the clock's punched in time I guess we're all Mostly Alright
(Chorus)
| |
|  | | JimmyB The Navesink Banks


Posts : 5619 Join date : 2010-10-27 Age : 31 Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat Apr 25, 2015 9:50 am | |
| A little work in progress I just thought of. Its untitled.
So here you are, crawling back to my door Back to the place, you'd never come no more Well listen up, how are you Can you forgive me, for my stupidity
Look at me, talk to me Have you forgiven me after all this time Took me years, to finally see How I treated you, it was a crime
I'll be here, yes I'll be here If you need a shoulder to cry on I'll stand here, back against the wall For you my friend I'd lose it all
| |
|  | | DeathoftheCool The Navesink Banks


Posts : 1953 Join date : 2010-07-26 Age : 29 Location : The Dreaded Barbary Coast
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Apr 27, 2015 7:36 am | |
| - Hombie wrote:
- Wrote this thing a while back that we're probably gonna try to turn into an actual song with my little fun but rather crappy attempt at a punkrock-ish band. Free hugs to anyone who can guess which band I was listening to pretty intensively when I wrote this.
his one guy told me "It ain't to hard to stay alive, at least on the outside"
I gotta admit, he looked pretty fried He said, "We're all anxious and depressed, But mostly alright," Yeah we got coffee 'n cigarettes Even friends, sometimes
And we just go through motions in the day, But at least we've got the nights Those are usually Mostly Alright
(Chorus) An' I guess he was right Yeah I guess he was right He's probably right We're all mostly alright (/end Chorus)
One thing I found out It's not hard to survive But it takes some effort to stay really alive 'Cause it's kinda rainy and kinda gray And we tend to self-medicate, sometimes
And it's raining out on monday But the clock's punched in time I guess we're all Mostly Alright
(Chorus)
Social Distortion? | |
|  | | Hombie Red In The Morning


Posts : 91 Join date : 2014-11-16 Location : Bruges
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Mon Apr 27, 2015 12:24 pm | |
| - DeathoftheCool wrote:
Social Distortion? Not quite xD Actually it was The Hold Steady and Craig Finn's solo stuff ^^ (looking over it again I guess it sorta reminds myself of 'No Future' in some way) | |
|  | | Rose1991 A Contender


Posts : 236 Join date : 2014-10-19 Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat May 02, 2015 9:01 am | |
| If anyone's really, really, insanely bored, you can read the first three chapters of my novel.
http://bit.ly/1JYPxtP
No it doesn't have a proper title yet and yes it's quite shitty. Read at your own risk. | |
|  | | Hombie Red In The Morning


Posts : 91 Join date : 2014-11-16 Location : Bruges
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat May 02, 2015 1:26 pm | |
| - Rose1991 wrote:
- If anyone's really, really, insanely bored, you can read the first three chapters of my novel.
http://bit.ly/1JYPxtP
No it doesn't have a proper title yet and yes it's quite shitty. Read at your own risk. Read one chapter. Reads sorta chick-lit-ish, but believe me, I've read much, much worse. Might read some more of it later, but for now I gotta get back to writing/drawing for Constructive Summer and the stuff I wanna do after it :p (On that subject, recently re-wrote the story that I originally designed Zack, Alex, Vincent and the rest of the characters for. https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3189360/1/A-Long-Drive-Home ) | |
|  | | Rose1991 A Contender


Posts : 236 Join date : 2014-10-19 Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Sat May 02, 2015 1:35 pm | |
| Haha, well it's about a 16 year old girl and I guess that's my core audience, so it is what it is. Thanks for checkin' it out.
When I have time later, I'll be sure to read yours. | |
|  | | Hombie Red In The Morning


Posts : 91 Join date : 2014-11-16 Location : Bruges
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue May 19, 2015 2:08 pm | |
| - Rose1991 wrote:
- Haha, well it's about a 16 year old girl and I guess that's my core audience, so it is what it is. Thanks for checkin' it out.
When I have time later, I'll be sure to read yours. Oh, read the whole thing by the way. Initial impression still stands, I'm not exactly your target audience, but in itself it's not half bad really. | |
|  | | Rose1991 A Contender


Posts : 236 Join date : 2014-10-19 Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania
![Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif) | Subject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] Tue May 19, 2015 4:08 pm | |
| Wow, I can't believe you actually read it all.  Thank you. Yeah, the first few chapters are a little awkwardly written, but it gets better as it goes on. It's still not excellent, but I guess it's not too bad. | |
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