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 Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]

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AuthorMessage
JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat Jun 21, 2014 8:39 am

^That one raised goosebumps on my skin. Nice job

I call this one "Personal Hell"

Think what you want, I won't hold it against you
Say what you can, I can't think it's true
Write all your reasons,for someone who cares
While I say Why don't you dare?

I'll take the high road against you tonight
I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight
Keep on speaking the lies you tell
While You constantly live in your personal hell

I'll hold my head up, while you hang yours in shame
I'll be smiling, while you play your games
Could you ever get over yourself?
While you keep your heart locked on a shelf

I'll take the high road against you tonight
I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight
Keep on speaking the lies you tell
While You constantly live in your personal hell

You wear the lies you told, like skin on your bones
It's killing you baby, and making you cold
Let them go before you get old
And no one wants you.

I'll take the high road against you tonight
I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight
Keep on speaking the lies you tell
While You constantly live in your personal hell

I'll take the high road against you tonight
I'll keep my head up, while you try to fight
Keep on speaking the lies you tell
While You constantly live in your personal hell
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sandyangryjohnnyormary?
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sandyangryjohnnyormary?


Posts : 106
Join date : 2011-06-03

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSun Jun 22, 2014 5:50 pm

You've actually got some really good lyrics there Jimmy . The 'heart on the shelf' line's a little cliché, but this is lightyears ahead of most the things I've read by you. It's got that slightly detached and melancholic, but finally clear headed view of old relationships that Dylan was always so great at. Good work!
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Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Jun 23, 2014 10:08 pm

The rain poured down

Over the seaside heights

And the ghouls in the street

Who haunted the midnight

Buried me along with other old worn out bones

And forgotten letters and poetry tomes

And in the muddy waters I laid

In a ditch on the side of the road

And in my head, memories played

And dreams of reconciliation

And they all go just like this

And all start with you sayin':



"Oh baby, I missed you,

I never did leave you

I never stopped loving

I always did care"

and I wipe my nose

And I clear my throat

And reply so softly

"Come on back home to me, dear"



The fog grew thick

Over our home town

And the alley cats and gamblers

Sleeping in the graveyard

All rose to attention

Saluting to the stained white flag

That the angels bestowed on me

In my state of surrender

The army rose up twisting like vines on a tower's wall

And marched on without me

And I sat and thought about what I would say

If I ever saw you again someday

(Maybe something like)



"Oh bright eyes, I miss you,

I always did need you

You're my one and only

You're my everything,"

And I'll wipe your tears away,

You'll grab my hands

And reply ever softly,

"Baby, come on home to me"­



But until then, I'll stay right here

Scrawling all my poetry dear

Crooning at the moonlight

And the soft, fond memories

And as I rot in solitude

I'll bleed a bit for me and you

And please do remember dear

I'll be forever and always here

And though the wounds may fade away

I'll love you until my dying day

Oh Molly, wherefore art you now

Can you still hear the sirens sound?

The rain poured down

Over the seaside heights

And the ghouls in the street

Who haunted the midnight

Buried me along with other old worn out bones

And forgotten letters and poetry tomes

And in the muddy waters I laid

In a ditch on the side of the road

And in my head, memories played

And dreams of reconciliation

And they all go just like this

And all start with you sayin':



"Oh baby, I missed you,

I never did leave you

I never stopped loving

I always did care"

and I wipe my nose

And I clear my throat

And reply so softly

"Come on back home to me, dear"



The fog grew thick

Over our home town

And the alley cats and gamblers

Sleeping in the graveyard

All rose to attention

Saluting to the stained white flag

That the angels bestowed on me

In my state of surrender

The army rose up twisting like vines on a tower's wall

And marched on without me

And I sat and thought about what I would say

If I ever saw you again someday

(Maybe something like)



"Oh bright eyes, I miss you,

I always did need you

You're my one and only

You're my everything,"

And I'll wipe your tears away,

You'll grab my hands

And reply ever softly,

"Baby, come on home to me"­



But until then, I'll stay right here

Scrawling all my poetry dear

Crooning at the moonlight

And the soft, fond memories

And as I rot in solitude

I'll bleed a bit for me and you

And please do remember dear

I'll be forever and always here

And though the wounds may fade away

I'll love you until my dying day

Oh Molly, wherefore art you now

Can you still hear the sirens sound?


I think I finally got something good here Smile
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Yozzy
A Contender
A Contender
Yozzy


Posts : 202
Join date : 2011-02-22
Location : Ontario, Canada

Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 07, 2014 2:51 am

--


Last edited by Yozzy on Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:56 pm; edited 3 times in total
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JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 07, 2014 7:42 am

Burn away.

Sit me down at the river tonight
by the pale moonlight
Hold me close take my hand
And let me just burn again

They say a fire is a good thing
It ends one, but starts new life
could it be what I need,
Could it be what I need to get right


Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain?
Have you felt all my shame?
Would you stitch it up the best you could,
Or would you just let it burn away?"

We could throw away ourselves, and what we were
what our folks wanted from you and me
Make our lives what we want them to be
Or who we need to be

Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain?
Have you felt all my shame?
Would you stitch it up the best you could,
Or would you just let it burn away?

But these all night drives have a cost
These empty worlds drive me up a wall
Settle down before to long before you're lost
Settle down before you fall


Have you looked in my heart, and seen the pain?
Have you felt all my shame?
Would you stitch it up the best you could,
Or would you just let it burn away?

Sometimes I just want to burn away
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The_River
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A Contender
The_River


Posts : 291
Join date : 2013-10-07

Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 07, 2014 8:19 am

Some great stuff from the last 2 posts. You guys should make something out of these if you don't already do.
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Guest
Guest




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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 11, 2014 5:43 am

Given a thousand years, my dear
And I still could not explain
Exactly how you make me feel
In all those tangled ways
But listen closely baby
And hear what I can say
As we sit here sipping coffee
On this cold, grey winter’s day

Jenni stick around
Don’t go, don’t run from this town
I know your fuse is short
I know he broke your heart
You’re friends are here, believe us
You’re calling out for Jesus
But He ain’t coming down
So Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around

You know I heard old James’s singing
Echoing through the library
And remember down on Midland
By the abandoned factories
When I first said I loved you
And you first said it too
Oh where oh where have those times gone
And where oh where are you

Jenni stick around
Don’t go, don’t split this dusty town
I know your shoes are worn
I know your Bible’s torn
We’re all here for you, believe us
You’re crying out for Jesus
But He ain’t coming ‘round
So Jenni, Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around

I saw you just the other day
Stumblin’ around in a drunken haze
You don’t look right, you don’t look okay
So listen closely, I have just one thing to say

Jenni let’s blow this town
We’ll go where we’ll never be found
Grab the keys, I’ll fill her up
I think that we have got enough
So grab my hand and lead us
Way out where we’ll find Jesus
But when we get lost from this town
Please, my darling, Jenni, Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around
Jenni stick around

Started rough concept for this song in January. Did this just now
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Hombie
Red In The Morning
Red In The Morning
Hombie


Posts : 91
Join date : 2014-11-16
Location : Bruges

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeThu Dec 11, 2014 6:46 pm

Ow man, reading through this I kinda wanna share stuff but on the other hand it's so painfully mediocre at best... xD

Maybe I will in a bit. Or if I can find something to write I actually really like myself.

(EDIT: I'll share this, then. Wrote it a while ago, edited it a little now. It's definitely kinda cliché or mediocre, I guess. Got the inspiration from it from a drum and bass song and a gay manga, weirdly enough)

I heard our dreams are paper planes,
Baby I'm hopin' for a breeze
Some warm summer wind to come
'n carry these folded sheets

And maybe this town is our dog pen
Man, the sky can feel so low
We're caught between the power lines and paper planes
Dreamin' we could go,
Faraway

And I'm still wishing on those shooting stars
Baby, I'm waitin' between these powerlines
Hoping some day, I'll finally catch that breeze

I'd sneak you one quick kiss, before I'd ever leave
Coastin on some paper wings and carried by the summer breeze

And this city is a prison,
The sky feels so low
We're caught between them power lines and paper planes
Ready to go,

Faraway, Baby
So far away

And maybe, just maybe
we'll come back one day
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Yozzy
A Contender
A Contender
Yozzy


Posts : 202
Join date : 2011-02-22
Location : Ontario, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat Dec 13, 2014 9:54 pm

I’m drowning
In imagery

I'm collapsing
At the foot of your bed

I'm reaching
For the small of your back

We existed in my headlights
And parted by the water

I’m pining for forgiveness
As fragile as glass

Moments fade in the front yard
While the wood begins to pass

You preferred pills and handwritten letters
All I ever had were bouquets of flowers
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JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Dec 29, 2014 8:55 am

Chorus of a song I'm working on "wall of shame"

I'll put your face on a wall of shame
So they know of your hell and to not mess with you
Everyone will know your name
Yeah miss L, thats what I'll do.
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Yozzy
A Contender
A Contender
Yozzy


Posts : 202
Join date : 2011-02-22
Location : Ontario, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Jan 12, 2015 2:35 am

We went to your pastor and he said help is far past her
So we collapsed into your living room
The clock in the background and the dogs on your wooden floor
We wait for flowers on the moon
We shared our sadness and the tears in our eyes filled
Faster than your prescriptions
When asked what had happened I acknowledge the truth
But struggle to admit its descriptions


Last edited by Yozzy on Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeWed Jan 14, 2015 10:49 am

WIP for "Summer heroes"

Even though the days are long behind me
Even Now I can still seem to smell
The burned race tires, and can see
The checkered flag

Those drivers are my summer heroes.
Working 40 hours, then going racing
Showing no fear, into corners at 180
They are my summer heroes.
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JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeWed Feb 11, 2015 1:11 am

I can feel, things I've never felt before
I can hear hear things I've gone deaf to
I can settle all these old burning scores
I can finally tell the truth

Now things are falling apart
And these skies keep pouring out grief
Still I keep things in my heart
In this town where I was born
In this town where I was born

Now here I am, another desperate caller
Trying to woo, summers only daughter
While winter rages, got her trapped in a cage
So what else can you say

Now things are falling apart,
and things keep breaking my heart
Still I keep it all in my mind
In the town where I was born
In the town where I was born

Now the diner is on fire, and
The train keeps rolling on
Still what else can I say, but
May her heart rest in peace.

Now things are falling apart,
and things keep breaking my heart
Still I keep it all in my mind
In the town where I was born
In the town where I was born

Now things are falling apart,
and things keep breaking my heart
Still I keep it all in my mind
In the town where I was born
In the town where I was born
May she always rest in grace

-Where I was born
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Hombie
Red In The Morning
Red In The Morning
Hombie


Posts : 91
Join date : 2014-11-16
Location : Bruges

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeWed Apr 22, 2015 5:00 pm

Wrote this thing a while back that we're probably gonna try to turn into an actual song with my little fun but rather crappy attempt at a punkrock-ish band. Free hugs to anyone who can guess which band I was listening to pretty intensively when I wrote this.

his one guy told me
"It ain't to hard to stay alive,
at least on the outside"

I gotta admit, he looked pretty fried
He said, "We're all anxious and depressed,
But mostly alright,"
Yeah we got coffee 'n cigarettes
Even friends, sometimes

And we just go through motions in the day,
But at least we've got the nights
Those are usually Mostly Alright

(Chorus)
An' I guess he was right
Yeah I guess he was right
He's probably right
We're all mostly alright
(/end Chorus)

One thing I found out
It's not hard to survive
But it takes some effort to stay really alive
'Cause it's kinda rainy and kinda gray
And we tend to self-medicate,
sometimes

And it's raining out on monday
But the clock's punched in time
I guess we're all Mostly Alright

(Chorus)


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JimmyB
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
JimmyB


Posts : 5619
Join date : 2010-10-27
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania-The land of the Three Rivers.

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat Apr 25, 2015 9:50 am

A little work in progress I just thought of. Its untitled.

So here you are, crawling back to my door
Back to the place, you'd never come no more
Well listen up, how are you
Can you forgive me, for my stupidity

Look at me, talk to me
Have you forgiven me after all this time
Took me years, to finally see
How I treated you, it was a crime


I'll be here, yes I'll be here
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll stand here, back against the wall
For you my friend I'd lose it all
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DeathoftheCool
The Navesink Banks
The Navesink Banks
DeathoftheCool


Posts : 1953
Join date : 2010-07-26
Age : 29
Location : The Dreaded Barbary Coast

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2015 7:36 am

Hombie wrote:
Wrote this thing a while back that we're probably gonna try to turn into an actual song with my little fun but rather crappy attempt at a punkrock-ish band. Free hugs to anyone who can guess which band I was listening to pretty intensively when I wrote this.

his one guy told me
"It ain't to hard to stay alive,
at least on the outside"

I gotta admit, he looked pretty fried
He said, "We're all anxious and depressed,
But mostly alright,"
Yeah we got coffee 'n cigarettes
Even friends, sometimes

And we just go through motions in the day,
But at least we've got the nights
Those are usually Mostly Alright

(Chorus)
An' I guess he was right
Yeah I guess he was right
He's probably right
We're all mostly alright
(/end Chorus)

One thing I found out
It's not hard to survive
But it takes some effort to stay really alive
'Cause it's kinda rainy and  kinda gray
And we tend to self-medicate,
sometimes

And it's raining out on monday
But the clock's punched in time
I guess we're all Mostly Alright

(Chorus)



Social Distortion?
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Hombie
Red In The Morning
Red In The Morning
Hombie


Posts : 91
Join date : 2014-11-16
Location : Bruges

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2015 12:24 pm

DeathoftheCool wrote:

Social Distortion?

Not quite xD
Actually it was The Hold Steady and Craig Finn's solo stuff ^^ (looking over it again I guess it sorta reminds myself of 'No Future' in some way)
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Rose1991
A Contender
A Contender
Rose1991


Posts : 236
Join date : 2014-10-19
Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat May 02, 2015 9:01 am

If anyone's really, really, insanely bored, you can read the first three chapters of my novel.

http://bit.ly/1JYPxtP

No it doesn't have a proper title yet and yes it's quite shitty. Read at your own risk.
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Hombie
Red In The Morning
Red In The Morning
Hombie


Posts : 91
Join date : 2014-11-16
Location : Bruges

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat May 02, 2015 1:26 pm

Rose1991 wrote:
If anyone's really, really, insanely bored, you can read the first three chapters of my novel.

http://bit.ly/1JYPxtP

No it doesn't have a proper title yet and yes it's quite shitty. Read at your own risk.

Read one chapter. Reads sorta chick-lit-ish, but believe me, I've read much, much worse. Might read some more of it later, but for now I gotta get back to writing/drawing for Constructive Summer and the stuff I wanna do after it :p

(On that subject, recently re-wrote the story that I originally designed Zack, Alex, Vincent and the rest of the characters for. https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3189360/1/A-Long-Drive-Home )
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Rose1991
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A Contender
Rose1991


Posts : 236
Join date : 2014-10-19
Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeSat May 02, 2015 1:35 pm

Haha, well it's about a 16 year old girl and I guess that's my core audience, so it is what it is. Thanks for checkin' it out.

When I have time later, I'll be sure to read yours.
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Hombie
Red In The Morning
Red In The Morning
Hombie


Posts : 91
Join date : 2014-11-16
Location : Bruges

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeTue May 19, 2015 2:08 pm

Rose1991 wrote:
Haha, well it's about a 16 year old girl and I guess that's my core audience, so it is what it is. Thanks for checkin' it out.

When I have time later, I'll be sure to read yours.

Oh, read the whole thing by the way. Initial impression still stands, I'm not exactly your target audience, but in itself it's not half bad really.
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Rose1991
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A Contender
Rose1991


Posts : 236
Join date : 2014-10-19
Location : Glenshaw, Pennsylvania

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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics] - Page 33 Icon_minitimeTue May 19, 2015 4:08 pm

Wow, I can't believe you actually read it all. Razz Thank you. Yeah, the first few chapters are a little awkwardly written, but it gets better as it goes on. It's still not excellent, but I guess it's not too bad.
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