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Harbortown wrote:

When I get around to it.

lol i know i know, take your time. ...

Man...Probably not a good idea to irratate Benny...

Aaaand we're back, the hour of reckoning is upon us and in only a few short minutes our acombatants will enter the fabled Dimestore Arena to DUKE. IT. OUT! Anticipation is sky high as this battle of legends is about to take place, our audience is chanting loudly as they hungrily await this highly esteemed bloodbath. What an evening, what an evening.

Quite, Harbortown. I just got back reports from Tickemaster and it appears that the tickets sold out in mere seconds! And inside the ring we now see old Harbortown, the legendary announcer who's about to introduce the game!

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW JERSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
*The audience roars*

LET'S GET READY TO RUMB-

*CRASH*

Uhh, it appears that the ceiling lights have burst. God damn, it's pitch black in here, I can't see anything, I'm sorry people, we're gonna have to take a few minutes off to fix this.

Damn it Plugga, I told you about the lights!

That was Beiber's manager's last ditch effort to save his life. He might be making a run for it!

Better fix those lights hombre, I got a lot of dough on this game..

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'M ON IT, JEEZE

Let's see...found some kind of....light manual, this goes here, that goes....Damn it, imma have to call a carpenter. Hey Brian!


What...?


Wanna help us out here? We really want to get the game going and uh, you used to be a carpenter, so...


What you need is an electrician, do I look like an electrician to you?









Fine, I'll do it...On my day off and everything. God damn it, the shit I have to do.

This is so great!

I think this is the greatest thing ever.....Beware Benny...Justin has an ally...name Belatix Gaga...(Check Rolling stone.com for what I mean)

How many fallons does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Haha can't wait for this to continue

Meanwhile all of Biebers fans gather outside the ring protesting the fight...
http://homepage.mac.com/stott/ebay/studio/214/05.jpg

Bellatrix Gaga might distract Benny (freakin' terrifying!). Hmm... Could we have underestimated Justin Beiber? Is there actually a brain underneath all that hair?

I guess the fight has been postponed due to darkness....Tune in tomorrow Benny Fans...Same Time Same Thread....

Poor Benny. I bet he's foaming at the mouth by now. Until tomorrow...

(@Harbortown - You're a genius! Funniest topic ever!)

IrishNameAndAnInjury wrote:

(@Harbortown - You're a genius! Funniest topic ever!)

Thank you!
Yep, I gotta rest on the creativity for a little while. Thanks for your patience.

pace these out buddy.

harbortown, damn, i havent been around lately, youve turned out to be quite the comedian...

but seriously, bieber? i'd rather see benny pick on someone his own size and someone far more offensive *cough*nickelbackjustasuggestion*cough* i mean obvs. anyone could take on justin bieber!

steph wrote:

harbortown, damn, i havent been around lately, youve turned out to be quite the comedian...

but seriously, bieber? i'd rather see benny pick on someone his own size and someone far more offensive *cough*nickelbackjustasuggestion*cough* i mean obvs. anyone could take on justin bieber!

Dear Steph,

We at Harbortown Comedy Enterprises take Your concern into account and we feel that Your continued support is of great value to us. However, the current setup of fighters in the ring is in reference to an interview in which Benny clearly stated his disgust towards the mop haired Canadian we all know and cherish, Justin Bieber.

We offer you a complementary funny video for Your time, thank You for choosing HCE and have a great day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBu9nAOlRRE

You number 500 post better be the fight haha

Just switched on the TV and I couldn't believe my eyes! Fight of the century! Hopefully benny will whip out the old drumsticks and drum a bit of musicality in to bieber.

WHAT DID I MISS

Alright Harbortown, are the lights back on? The crowd is getting restless and a little unruly. I think I hear chants of "Kill Biebs, kill Biebs, kill Biebs!"

plugga wrote:

WHAT DID I MISS

Plugga, you almost missed the fight of the year, the decade, the century! Good thing you came back before Harbortown and Brian fixed the lights. Stay tuned...

*open the link before proceeding*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iof5pRAIZmw

LAST NIGHT ON BENNY VS BIEBER (this part is to be read in a quick and dramatic voice like they do on TV shows):
Benny Horowitz challenged Justin Bieber to a BATTLE ROYALE at the legendary Dimestore Saints Arena in New Jersey but right as they were to begin the lights went out, Brian Fallon was tasked with fixing the problem and now reluctantly struggles to work on his damn day off, will he succeed, will we get a fight?

*you can stop listening to Guile's theme now*



One little twist here...that wire goes there...humm humm humm, down by the river, lalala, out of town, with the street through the park...Wow that sounds good, might make a song outta that, Bruce prolly wrote it already but I don't care, aaaaand let's try this out.

*Lights go on*


And the lights are back on here in the arena, the crowd goes wild, and it's all thanks to me, I fixed the lights all by myself!




Okay fine, MR GRUMPY PANTS FALLON DID IT, THANKS BRIAN OKAY LET'S GET THIS GAME GOING!

LLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF NEEEEW JERSEEEEEEEY!

*The crowd cheers*

IN THE BLUE CORNER, FROM THE DARK BACK ALLEYS OF THE SPRINGSTEEN STATE, AT 200 POUNDS, BENNY, "THE BENMINATOR", HOOOOOROWIIIIIIIIITZ!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Qhw81jTU8

*Benny walks in to the massive roars and cheers of the audience*


Wow, what a sight! Benny is looking SWOLE AS HELL as he's about to go down for the FIGHT OF HIS LIFE!

IN THE RED CORNER, FROM, LIKE, SOME SHITTY PLACE IN CANADA OR WHATEVER, WEIGHING IN AT AN IMPRESSIVE ONE HUNDRED POUNDS, JUSTIN, "THE MOP", BIIIIIEBEEEEEEEEER!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FBleCag8zc

*Justin walks in but the crowd doesn't seem to notice because they mistake him for a floor mop*


Where's Justin? I can't quite tell, he's supposed to....Ah yes of course, ladies and gentlemen, Justin Bieber is actually in the ring now, that was not a floor mop.

OUR COMBATANTS ARE READY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE TIME HAS COME. LLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEE

*DING*

And the fight is on! Whoa, Benny immediately rushes in for the kill and throws a mean right hook but he misses! Justin quickly ducks and swings his fist at Benny's kidneys! It's a hit! Benny however barely seems to notice, Justin's fist being roughly the size of a peanut, and the fight continues.
Benny turns around for the counterattack and OW, he grabs justin by his feet as he tries to run away! Is it, is he about to - Yes, I can't believe it, he is UNLEASHING THE WHIRLWIND, swinging Justin by his feet in a 360 degree! He doesn't seem to want to let go, which means that...Yep, Benny loses his balance and falls down, giving Bieber the perfect opportunity for a good whoppin! This might be his only chance to get a real hit, Harbortown!

Indeed, Harbortown, but it looks as if though the momentum of the whirlwind caught Justin in a permanent spin, he is now swirling around on the floor in endless circles, his massive blob of hair giving it a blinding sparkle. And Benny is up, but he falls down yet again because the floor appears to be slippery!
What a game, what a game.

*ding*

Oh wow, what a terrific first round, these boys are really packing up quite a struggle, let's see what some of our audience members have to say.


Look, just give me a break, I'm tired of you and your damn moustache.


IS THAT BRIAN FALLON??


They just never leave me alone, do they...

*ding*

And the game is back on!
Benny takes on a more calculating stance this time around, slowly approaching his combatant who readies his fists and prances around like the dancing little pseudo man he is. But, what's this? Oh jeeze, Justin sees his reflection in Benny's eyes and notices that his fringe does not fall in a perfect angle and tries to fix it, oh no, Benny seizes the opportunity and smacks him right in the face, knocking him right on his ass! Oh Harbortown the CROWD GOES ABSOLUTELY NUTS, WHAT A KNOCKOUT!

Our referee Harbortown runs forward to count him down!
TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, SEVEN, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, aaaaand LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE BENMINATOR WINS!

The cheers erupt into wild chants as the audience hail the name of their champion, what a night, what a night, I'm Harbortown and me and my co-host Harbortown thank you for tuning in with us tonight, until next time!

I can't.. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE FANGIRL