romance issues

JimmyB wrote:

Another evening, another case of rejection. Well in this case, two in the same night. Both said that I "was handsome, but not attractive them". What does that even mean?!?! Every girl I've asked out has said that to me! Whatever, makes me want to start drinking- heavily.

Have you tried just... Going out trying to have a good time with no expectations? If all else fails, you had a good time. Just go have a drink with friends or even people you just start talking to at a bar and leave the rest up to chance. Might not get you a girlfriend, but hey, might land you some interesting bar convo.

Hombie wrote:

JimmyB wrote:

Another evening, another case of rejection. Well in this case, two in the same night. Both said that I "was handsome, but not attractive them". What does that even mean?!?! Every girl I've asked out has said that to me! Whatever, makes me want to start drinking- heavily.

Have you tried just... Going out trying to have a good time with no expectations? If all else fails, you had a good time. Just go have a drink with friends or even people you just start talking to at a bar and leave the rest up to chance. Might not get you a girlfriend, but hey, might land you some interesting bar convo.

This.

Women aren't even looking at me now. I was out last night,and none looked at me, talked to me, or even noticed I existed. No hits on my okcupid account in a month BTW, guess who is the only person from his graduating high school class to have never been on a date.

well guess what you weirdo, maybe you should try talking to them. And don't mention model trains.

I don't. I try talking to them about stuff like good movies coming out, asking how they are, talking about general stuff. But they always have a "omg, i got to get away" look.

JimmyB wrote:

I don't. I try talking to them about stuff like good movies coming out, asking how they are, talking about general stuff. But they always have a "omg, i got to get away" look.

Which I'm guessing is because considering your apparent attitude towards or goals for going for a drink, you might come across as somewhat pushy. Or desperate, potentially, no offence. And no particularily likes that, so...

Really, just give trying to have a good time without looking for a date a shot. I get being frustrated, I've never been on a date in my life, never kissed anyone in any sort of romantic way and so on, but try to let that slide for a while and just have a good time without all that, and you'll probably run into someone eventually anyway. Don't look so hard for things you can't force.

(Shit, I'm starting to go Hallmark, stop me before it gets too bad xD )

don't worry about it, Jimmy doesn't listen to anything that anyone here tells him anyway

I dont go to bars. Around here, it would be a waste of my time. Nothing but older women in bars around here. I go to open mics instead.

Same thing applies though. Just go make music and make friends and leave the rest up to Lady Luck

'Sides, not much is gonna happen if you don't make friends first, no? Or is that just me?

I wish could just be a whole different person. I hate who I am. I really do

JimmyB wrote:

I wish could just be a whole different person. I hate who I am. I really do

So start changing things. You've bitched about the exact same shit for years here.

Go to a fuckin therapist, you have control over your situation so fuckin do something man. Just about every single person has given you advice here.

Go get professional help.

Here, use this, go! https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/county/Pennsylvania/Allegheny.html

JimmyB wrote:

I wish could just be a whole different person. I hate who I am. I really do

So start changing things. You've bitched about the exact same shit for years here.

Go to a fuckin therapist, you have control over your situation so fuckin do something man. Just about every single person has given you advice here.

Go get professional help.

Here, use this, go! https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/county/Pennsylvania/Allegheny.html

So I met my tattoo artist today and I'm in love. He's way older than me, married, and has a kid, so it's not like my fleeting crush is going anywhere, but holy fuck is he dreamy.

Rose1991 wrote:

So I met my tattoo artist today and I'm in love. He's way older than me, married, and has a kid, so it's not like my fleeting crush is going anywhere, but holy fuck is he dreamy.

Damn those practical little thingies always getting in the way :p

Thankfully I no longer have crushes, infatuation, or ideas of romance. I've actually managed to kill all desire for a girlfriend, due to no one worth the pain here, and never getting any hits on okcupid. I'm gonna be a batchleor forever.

Jimmy... I don't know what the hell you expect from any of us and I'm officially siding with "seriously Jimmy go find a therapist" movement. I mean, obviously you're welcome to post whatever you want, but come on man. You're just wallowing in your own misery and that can't be fun. Or maybe just go watch Fight Club and drink a beer or take some boxing lessons and punch some shit. IDK. Just GET HELP.

I'll drown it out playing with my trains. Since that's all I'm good at, and I fail at social interaction.

JimmyB wrote:

I'll drown it out playing with my trains. Since that's all I'm good at, and I fail at social interaction.

Jimmy. You seriously should listen to advice and go and see a therapist, a psychologist...even a priest, depending on your religious inclinations. Someone you can trust. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues, amidst maybe some other things. They can work with you on those.

If you really want to make changes in your life, then stop saying it and do it. You don't need to change your entire personality, but maybe certain things about the way you approach social interactions. Take a step back and look at where things have gone wrong and see if you can learn from it.

I don't necessarily go on here super often but I've seen your posts and I don't think you're a bad person. But you need to stop focusing on other people and work on being yourself, and being happy. Everything else will fall into place after.

So yeah, did another round of searching on okcupid. Turns out I'm a perfect match for at least three people I went to school with. Small world

The thing about OkCupid though (and all online dating) is that the matching system works on a purely theoretical level, based on consensus of ideas and opinions.

You're not necessarily gonna be a perfect match just because a website says so.

I know that. I just find it funny is all. Based on the questions I mean. BTW, cannot afford a psych or pills- I'm already spending about 200 dollars a month on medical prescriptions as is without insurance.

Is it me or is this just sort of a monthly cycle?

As someone who's talked to at least a number of (good) school counselors and a shrink an' stuff, I'm on that camp too. It might seem like a weird step at first, but hey, if it helps it helps.

And I dunno how the law is over there, but at least here they're bound by law to keep your problems to themselves and everything to, so even if it turns out not to be your thing it's not gonna come back or something.

Just repeat my cycle Jimmy. Find girl you quickly fall for, she breaks your heart, then drink, realize fuck her and then repeat. It really isn't that bad.

33RPMHero wrote:

Just repeat my cycle Jimmy.  Find girl you quickly fall for, she breaks your heart, then drink, realize fuck her and then repeat.  It really isn't that bad.

Drinking can be an ongoing part of the cycle. No need to wait for somebody to break your heart. Throw back a few and have a damn good time.

pleasepassthesoup wrote:

33RPMHero wrote:

Just repeat my cycle Jimmy.  Find girl you quickly fall for, she breaks your heart, then drink, realize fuck her and then repeat.  It really isn't that bad.

Drinking can be an ongoing part of the cycle. No need to wait for somebody to break your heart. Throw back a few and have a damn good time.

The drinking is really the best part anyways. Just skip through the bs and enjoy