Attempting the impossible: Turning dad on to TGA

It's late (or just extremely early) and I've had a good night, so I come with a story and a question.

This will be the first Christmas since 2007 that my husband and I will be spending where we grew up. This means that I will be seeing my dad and stepmother. Every time we go visit, I tell myself I'm going to find something to connect to my dad with. It never happens. We get along okay now, after spending many years in a very mutually negative relationship, especially after my mom died. But he is 72, I am 25 in a couple weeks. Huge gap. We usually make small talk and I leave feeling bad because he's not going to be around forever and my time is running out.

Put simply, the man like to put on his headphones, stand in the kitchen, drink his whiskey and listen to bluegrass. He likes the old country sound (as opposed to new poppy junk) and he even has his own harmonica, which became blatantly obvious when I was on the phone with my stepmom and I found myself needing to ask if I was correctly hearing my dad in the background trying to drown us out. I was pretty amused. Also, he likes Bruce. This works for me. I think Bruce is the one thing that my mom, my dad, and I ever all agreed on.

I've always been obsessed with music and I've had bands that have been "up there," but nothing that he could ever stand. Not in the slightest. Most of it, I can't stand anymore. So now, when I mention bands, both of my parents ignore what I'm saying. I just know I'm going to end up talking about Gaslight because it's all I've been breathing lately, and I'm going to be pretty hurt if it's shrugged off. I'm pretty sure I'm the first person to come out of the family with a passion for something.

There are going to be a few hours, on one day, where I will be visiting my dad before my stepmom comes home. She won't be there to tell me to not play anything "because it will just annoy your dad." Thing is, I don't want to annoy him, so I'm going to have to... exert control with some pleasant songs. He raised me alone for a few years and he learned to tune out what I played, which is what he'll probably try to do, but I want to catch his attention. The thing is, while I know some of the material is a little too close to the punk side for him (most of Sink or Swim, for example), I truly believe he would enjoy Gaslight if he actually gave them a chance. It's the exact kind of music he likes with a little more rock--but not too much-- mixed in.

I have a tentative playlist. Starts out with a song that I am absolutely positive he will love, no matter what. He was the first person I thought of the first time I heard it. Then it gradually gets a little heavier, but keeps the slower songs coming. In my opinion, it's a pretty non-threatening playlist. All I can do is put it on and hope that, while we're preparing for the arrival of family that we both share the same, uh, opinions of, he will actually hear something he likes and will end up wanting the CD. Here's what I got, and I know it's not all Gaslight, but Brian's voice is what I'm truly looking to get him to hear:

Tin Pan Alley (demo)
Blue Jeans & White T-Shirts
Here's Looking At You, Kid
The Blues, Mary
The Diamond Church Street Choir
Red At night
Italian Lightning
The '59 Sound
The Navesink Banks
Angry Johnny and the Radio
High Lonesome
Meet Me By The River's Edge
The Backseat (Acoustic)


So in theory, if you have a 72 year old guy like I described, think things might not end disastrously? Or a less subjective question: has anyone else ever tried desperately to get someone to like this band just because there's no justice in someone going through life having not heard them? Honestly, I'm not even concerned about Christmas; I'd just like some approval from dad in the form of "yeah, this is a nice song."


(As a side note; Amazing Grace worked in at the end of The Blues, Mary? Screw you, Brian. Screw you. Except absolutely not )

Wonderful choice of songs...the way I see it, you got nothing really to lose.
I hope he enjoys it.

How about Miles Davis?

Hello! New here, been lurking for a while, saw this and thought I'd reply.

This is a great thing to want to do. My son and I are very close through music, so I understand your need. If your Dad likes Bruce, may I suggest playing him the acoustic versions of Backstreets and Atantic City by BF. I find them both very moving and I'm sure he'll appreciate BF's own stuff after hearing them as an opener. Whatever you play, I sincerely hope it all works out as we'll as you wish and brings you that closeness.

Merry Christmas.

Love it. I had to come out of hiding to say I'm currently, as I type this, making my dad a TGA mix for Christmas.

Haha, my dad came with me the first time i saw them. I was saddened though, because he liked the Heartless Bastards like a million times more! Not that those guys are bad or anything, it was just kinda disappointing. lol.

Great idea! And just as *oldgospelchor" pointed out, you've got nothing to lose. I really hope it works out! As much as I hope that our son will like the same music we're into and we can go to gigs together!

Thanks for the good vibes, guys! I might have to throw Miles Davis on there.

Are there any very good, clean recordings of Backstreets or Atlantic City? I have a live recording of AC but it's not the best quality, so I have only listened a couple times... my dad would hate noisy live recordings.

I made my dad come to a concert with me, and he fell in love with TGA. You've got an excellent list there, and he is bound to like at least one of them.

fullcollapse wrote:

Are there any very good, clean recordings of Backstreets or Atlantic City? I have a live recording of AC but it's not the best quality, so I have only listened a couple times... my dad would hate noisy live recordings.

that's what the Audio Rips Master List is for

give a listen to this version of AC , it should be better than the one you have (probably from the Court Tavern):
97X Green Room - 21 Oct 2008 - http://www.mediafire.com/?4avlsg4h4r394b1

and Backstreets:
‘Backstreets’, Discuss Bruce Springsteen - February 2009 - http://www.mediafire.com/?6r4piggs9v44plt

https://thegaslightanthem.forumotion.com/t2784-audio-rips-master-list-revised

I downloaded quite a bit of the files on that thread but I stray from live recordings due to low quality being an issue many times. When I get home tonight I'll check out what you just linked to here, though! Thanks!

Good luck man. I made a gaslight anthem cd for my mom. I think she listened to it once. I don't really care though because I'm pretty close with my parents already and connect with them on a bunch of different stuff.

I use that same playlist for the most part for friends and family. Throw in Miles Davis and She Loves You

i would put drive on there

At only 44 minutes long, I'll only have filled half a CD, so I'm definitely going to see how I can work some of these suggestions in there. Also, the live Bruce covers sound excellent! My computer is so littered with low quality live recordings that are hardly listenable, so I am weary of them, despite loving a good live version. We had AC going in the car several times today.

Caught my stepmom in a good mood this evening, so I let her in on my plan. Apparently he still chills with his cd player a few nights a week and she's confident that he'd give anything a try, so we'll see! I'll definitely report back.

...however, chances are, I will not have good news to report about the reception of my TGA tattoo. ha!

great playlist, but I'd stay away from the Bruce covers, in case your dad thinks they are no good

Did you show the songs to him? If yes, what did he say about them? Maybe you could also show him We cam to Dance..

argh, I forgot to update!

Long story short, he really liked it! He kept saying he likes music like that and he even enjoyed T59S, even though it was a bit heavier than what the mix started with. He was happy to have something new to listen to. The shocker is that he ACTUALLY listened to me ramble on and on about Brian and the band as well as try to explain what they mean to me. He normally tries to tune that stuff out!

A surprising development was that my stepmother LIKED my tattoo. She went so far as to go out of her way to tell me "it's actually kind of nice" and "sort of pretty."

Basically, the whole visit was a lot of "who are you people and what did you do with my parents?"

Woo!

TGA strikes again!

I've been spreading the gospel of Gaslight all year. My best friend nearly floored me the other day by telling me he was listening to American Slang & "the fourth song with that beat" on the way to see me. We have never seen eye to eye on music...EVER.

So glad the hols went well for you.

Awesome!

Glad to hear everything went well!! Another awesome TGA story!!!

my mom likes the cover for once upon a time though she may just like the song, she still thinks every band i listen to is my chemical romance

I think that the existence of this thread is a tribute to the greatness of this band, and the greatness of these fans. I haven't been to many live shows, and TGA last october was my first time going to a show entirely of my own willpower instead of on invitation and having bought the tickets. The great thing about this group is that stories such as yours are so common. So much of modern music is angry and divisive, and most of the rest is nonsense anyway. TGA brings people together, and the interest that the community has had in your story is further testament to that.

As for how this relates to me, I was introduced to TGA through my friend's (Kosburn59, of an earlier comment) cover of "Here's Looking At You, Kid" during summer '09, and after a brief hesitancy I've fallen in love with TGA like no band ever before. Everything I know as a songwriter I learned from Brian Fallon, even though I have other influences. My father is pretty critical, a devoted classic metalhead, and he openly admitted that as soon as he hears me mention TGA at the dinner table he tunes me out. (Understandably enough; I ramble.) Like your father, our shared love of Bruce provides a bit of common ground. But, he was riding home with me one day (why I was driving instead of him, I'm not sure) and AS had just come out, and at some point during the album he says that the music is really passionate and he can understand why I'd fallen in love with it. He's not a fan, but i still say mission accomplished.

MyFirstSin wrote:

I think that the existence of this thread is a tribute to the greatness of this band, and the greatness of these fans. I haven't been to many live shows, and TGA last october was my first time going to a show entirely of my own willpower instead of on invitation and having bought the tickets. The great thing about this group is that stories such as yours are so common. So much of modern music is angry and divisive, and most of the rest is nonsense anyway. TGA brings people together, and the interest that the community has had in your story is further testament to that.

As for how this relates to me, I was introduced to TGA through my friend's (Kosburn59, of an earlier comment) cover of "Here's Looking At You, Kid" during summer '09, and after a brief hesitancy I've fallen in love with TGA like no band ever before. Everything I know as a songwriter I learned from Brian Fallon, even though I have other influences. My father is pretty critical, a devoted classic metalhead, and he openly admitted that as soon as he hears me mention TGA at the dinner table he tunes me out. (Understandably enough; I ramble.) Like your father, our shared love of Bruce provides a bit of common ground. But, he was riding home with me one day (why I was driving instead of him, I'm not sure) and AS had just come out, and at some point during the album he says that the music is really passionate and he can understand why I'd fallen in love with it. He's not a fan, but i still say mission accomplished.

Yeah, understanding and accepting can be very important. Even if you don't like it, if you understand it you can understand and accept the people who like it.